Dancing to find yourself

Practising the unbalanced emotion

How often do you feel the emotion of feeling uncomfortable?  When everything from the souls of your feet, the pit of your stomach to the lump in the back of your throat feels tight and just unbalanced?

While attending a Wild Women Adventure Weekend despite being around familiar souls there was something that was happening during the course of the weekend that had me feeling a little uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable “uncomfortable” but more a little nervous and uneasy. One of the strong and independent women asked if she could guide us through a 5Rhythms dynamic movement practice – a practice of being in yourself through dance.

5Rhythms Dance

The premise of the 5Rhythms movement is to have you show up and in return, it holds you in letting go. The process of listening to your body and understanding what it is saying through the sounds of music allows you to express your craziness, your wildness and even your sadness. According to Wikipedia the definition is “…to put the body in motion in order to still the mind. The five rhythms are Flowing, Staccato, Chaos, Lyrical and Stillness. When danced in sequence, are known as a ‘wave’.”

On this afternoon we were to wave to a sequence of music for 45 minutes, no conversation and no closing of the eyes. We were encouraged to keep our eyes open only momentarily closing if we felt the need to so in other words, we were exposing ourselves to those around us in what is a very natural but for me a very unnatural movement.

Anyone who knows me understands that I have somewhat a disconnection with my body, a feeling of being uncomfortable in the make-up of how my bones & joints are all connected in particular the hip region. For me this is just one big mass of togetherness which struggles with disconnecting and to think of isolation of this area when asked just makes the heat rise in my chest and throat area.

Show up, dance, change

The time came for the dance to begin, I had to suddenly show up and feel comfortable after all there were six other women doing the same.  I threw caution to the wind and just moved, I wasn’t sure why was I feeling uncomfortable if no one else was, why couldn’t I just let go? What was holding me back?

As the music started and my flow uneasily formed, I muttered an uncomfortable laugh and tried with all my might to just ease into the moment, to do this I had to only think and worry about myself, for now it was all about me.

Acceptance was key; accept and move on or in this case, move in the form of dance. 45 minutes passed like it was 5 and to my surprise as the last song faded to silence, I suddenly felt more enriched, purposeful and confident. What just happened? I actually enjoyed the process, I felt somewhat renewed.

During the course of the dance, I was seduced by my own meditative and flowing thoughts which allowed me to open up to the possibility of self-creativity. I now ask myself, who is/was this person who dances before me? Like then and as it stands now, I realised, this process is about discovering the person within and for that 45min flow, I forgot who I was and released a little bit more of someone in which I am eager to discover. It was just magical.

Its more than just a dance

The thing about life is, you just have to stop thinking you know what is going to happen. You have to stop thinking you have control over every waking moment because in reality, you just have control over what is happening now.  I tried something new because I don’t want to stay stagnant, I want to grow, change and develop – I want to experiment and decide if what I do is going to change me.

Today is about facing fears all the while practicing for tomorrow’s practice and that is to keep putting myself in a situation in which I feel uncomfortable. As a society we are playing it too safe, we are not exposing ourselves to the emotions of fear.

A simple act like dancing has reminded me of the desire to grow, to change and to be called out as ‘slightly mad’ but I’m liking what I am discovering and will continue to push my boundaries, it’s exciting what can be found on the other side.