Pause. Part Two
I recall becoming aware of my body form as I moved from child, adolescent to teenager; when things started to get a little unusual in the body; periods, pimples, and pubes! The body I had known as child was now going through a hormonal shift and the answer to the mood swings, sore boobs and cramps was ‘it’s just your hormones’.
This explanation wasn’t too bad however it came with no context so just to say that with no ‘filling’ left more questions than answers.
This was a period in life that you had no choice but to move through; the conversations were limited except for sex education which happened I think in year 9 with boys and girls – a rather embarrassing subject in front of peers and parents. Looking back now I wonder why the changes in our bodies are so embarrassing; maybe if it wasn’t we might understand them more.
Fast forward 30+ years and the hormones again are taking on a life of their own and it is only now after somewhat celebrating and congratulating my body form, am I confused about this body I am in – I am not comfortable, and I am struggling to be.
This pause is taking some adjustment; I am in tune with acceptance and letting go but to put it into practice as a female is somewhat difficult.
The belly fat
When I spoke to a male doctor about 3 years ago about the abdominal fat suddenly appearing he simply told me it was here to stay and that was it, that’s hormones for you.
Looking back now, I brushed off his response just as easily as he brushed off my concerns – when in fact, I think I needed to have a therapy session or a deeper conversation about what the hormones were doing and why despite no change in exercise load or diet, I suddenly put on 5kg in what felt like overnight.
Fast forward and I am still battling the ‘bulge’. The marketing around this change looks more like a comedy sketch than something that is going to really help you manage this change.
Other symptoms relating to perimenopause include:
- Thinning hair
- Crawling skin
- Stomach bloat
- Weight gain (pot belly, inner thighs)
- Dread
- Irritability
- Brain fog
- Deafness
- Dry skin
- Night sweats
- Vertigo
- Anxiety
- Interrupt sleep (usually between 2-3am)
- Decline in bone density
- Fatigue
- Joint pain
- Memory loss
- Slow recovery
- Emotional instability
- Excess sweating
- Body odour
- Gut distress
When I read over this list, I have or am experiencing close to 98% of them. Oh and how could we gloss over the irregularly of your periods…..this is almost a positive compared to the list above!
So how does one experience such a high rate of symptoms and have no one notice? It’s like a slippery slope of change that before you can or anyone else take stock of what you are going through you are well in the eye of the storm and suddenly all these symptoms are normalised.
Women are good at adapting. We make small changes to compensate for what is really going on; we are like the masked singer but with no visual disguise.
- Excess sweating – start wearing sleeves tops
- Body odour – Have on you at all times an anti-perspirant and roll-on perfume
- Interrupt sleep – Mediation app on your phone
- Thinning hair – Hair growth shampoo, conditioners, and related tonics
- Stomach bloat – Detox tablets
You get the picture; we are good at adapting.
Resources
Fortunately, in the 24th year of the 21st century, discussing “perimenopause” and “menopause” at the table is socially acceptable, with podcasts, books, and websites available to guide us through this significant life transition. Here are some of my top recommendations for reading and listening on the topic.
- Roar and Next Level – Stacy T Sims, PhD (Website and Books)
- Dr Louise Newson – The Imperfects, 13 November 2023 S5 E43 (Podcast)
- The Pause Life, Demystifying Menopause – Mary Claire Haver, MD (Website and Books)
- The truth about menopause with Myf Warhurst – A Catalyst special. ABC iview
We are always changing
It would be incomplete for me not to acknowledge that this shift in life doesn’t pass quickly, at least not from my own experience. You’re deep into the transformation before you even realise it consciously, and when you do, you often feel overwhelmed about how to address the situation you’re in.
Yearning to return to how things were before this change is a desire that can never truly be satisfied. Now, it’s about embracing acceptance and living in the present moment.
Let the battle begin.
